Catalan Elections 2010 in a M-f*cking Nutshell

Next Sunday, all slaves legally defined as persons belonging to the territory of Catalonia –a possession of the Spanish Crown and Vatican crime families– are summoned to vote the flavor of the dick they will have lodged up their collective ass for the next four years. Yes, it’s election time!

Catalans get to elect their own pseudo-president slave to loot the territory in the name of the Spanish Crown criminal syndicate. The purpose of the Catalan president is to sweeten the gang bang with some native dick and to live on taxpayer money as warden of the Catalan slave stock.

The slaves will choose from a list of pre-approved candidates from pre-approved political parties. Some are so-called right-wing or conservative, others left-wing or liberal, although most try to be “centre” or whatever-it-takes-to-bum-a-vote.

They are apparently very different from one another, except in their burning desire to be the biggest fish in someone else’s pond. In reality, they will all tax, police and misspend exactly the same, and uselessly burden the slaves to justify their existence.

Here are the motherf*cking choices for 2010 in a nutshell:

CiU – Convergencia i Unio: the Catalan conservative nationalist party led by Artur “Lord Farquaad” Mas has been the most voted in the past two elections. Supposedly represents the typical Catalan seny (common sense) and will gladly send our tax money to Madrid in exchange for a four-year ass ride as the motherf*cking president.

PSC – Partit Socialista de Catalunya: a growth of the motherf*cking Spanish socialist party PSOE, currently in power in coalition with two minority parties. Socialists are mutants that are unable to survive without constant injections of taxpayer money. Have been happily milking the slaves for the past eight years; half of them should be in jail, the other half tarred and feathered.

ERC – Esquerra Republicana de Catalunya: Left-wing republicans (in the old-school meaning of republican, ie anti-monarchist) that make of Catalan independence their purpose in life. A bunch of motherf*cking nationalist thug fear-mongering manipulators who would round up non-Catalans into concentration camps if given mandate.

IC-V – Iniciativa per Catalunya – Els Verds: Eco-nazis who think a carbon tax and electric cars should be forced down everyone’s throat. Parasites specialized in gorging on taxpayer money while prescribing motherf*cking “green” sustainability for everyone else. Have sold their souls to the dark side and are too stupid to realize it.

PPC – Partit Popular de Catalunya: A metastisis of the cancer called Partido Popular, a fascist Franco nostalgic daisy-jerkoff mickey mouse club. So crooked they have to screw their motherf*cking pants on every morning and have them unscrewed at night. Would round up immigrants, homosexuals, poets and Catalans into concentration camps if given mandate.

Plus two or three nationalist/racist micro parties comprised of career manipulators and the motherf*cking vultures that follow the stench of dead meat, which aren’t worth wasting a single byte on.

A week from election day, slave preferences are giving CiU a near majority in the polls, despite 1 in 3 Catalan slaves not feeling represented by any of the pre-approved candidates. Not that it makes any difference; in the end, the whole democratic idea of choosing by popular vote doesn’t change the fact that we are slaves that must pay tribute to the crime syndicates. If we don’t like the choices, we can opt out from choosing our warden and send a powerful message for the politicians to wipe their asses with. We can also opt to choose the lesser of the evils and then shuffle to the taxpayer security pat down with our pants down around our ankles. That’s modern democratic slavery for ya: at best, we can only hope the new guy won’t be as bad as the last… uh oh.

hello, taxpayer. why don't you slip into something a little more... comfortable?

One thought on “Catalan Elections 2010 in a M-f*cking Nutshell

  1. Pingback: Catalan Elections Part Deux: Independence or Bust « 99 Percent Space

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