Spain’s Austerity Plan: The Catalan Chain Gang

Spain is f*cked, and I can’t say I’m sorry. It is time for this evil construct to fall, regardless of what follows. The entity known as modern Spain is built on lies, manipulation, war crimes and mass graves; like most modern nation-states, its ONLY purpose is to facilitate the exploitation of the whores by the pimps with a thin cover of representative democracy whitewash.

Ever since the last Moor was expelled from the peninsula more than 5 centuries ago, the ruling crime syndicate formed by Christian aristocrats and the Roman Catholic Church have spent a lot of effort subjugating the provinces in order to finance the empire.

In essence, modern democratic Spain works no differently than old medieval Spain or even Roman Hispania. All tax money follows the spokes to the centre, and the provinces are financed by the central government in the amount they consider appropriate for the “solidary financing” policy which assigns more resources to underdeveloped regions. This boils down to developed regions like Catalonia paying more taxes than any other region in the country, and receiving proportionally less in return than any other region.

Now, Catalonia has been a tithe-paying territory since its establishment 1000 years ago by order of Roman emperor Charlesmagne as part of the “Hispanic March” buffer zone between the Moors and the Franks. Catalonia, Aragón and Navarra were left in charge of the Christian counts who had fought with his troops against the Moors, giving rise to various regional aristocracies within the peninsula.

Ever since then, Catalonia has played two recurring roles in Spanish his story: in times of peace, it is a powerhorse of industry and trade; in times of war, it is a frontline of destruction. This is because Catalans are an industrious lot, with a strong cultural identity and a bit on the rebellious side, although nothing compared to the crazy Basques. Also, they just happen to live on a geostrategic territory that connects the peninsula to the rest of Europe, through the Pyrenees and the Mediterranean.

Catalans have historically chafed under outside rule, but as a small chunk of a larger territory its options have been limited. It has tried repeatedly to break free from the abusive pimps in Madrid, but like damaged goods always ends up taking it deeper and harder for its troubles. In the early 1700s, Catalonia sided with the House of Hapsburg against the House of Bourbon in the Spanish War of Succession. This turned out to be a poor choice which the Bourbons have had 300 years to pay back (current king of Spain: Juan Carlos of Bourbon). In the 1930s, Catalonia threw its lot in with the Second Republic; for this it was bombed, starved, purged and locked down by a civil war and forty years of grey repression.

Fast forward to right now. For thirty years of democracy, Catalonia has been paying more than its fair share to the development of the country without (much) complaint; after all, these three decades of democracy have been a time of growth and advancement for all regions of Spain, thanks in great part to solidary financing and EU development funds.

Then the bubble burst, and we were informed that there was a crisis, which is code for “we keep your money”. Since then, the pusillaminous Spanish government has goose-stepped to the beat of the Germany-IMF-Standard Agencies drums, approving draconian cuts to everything below their income bracket and swearing to suckee-fckee long time in exchange for more international funny money. Of course, the actual suckee-fckee will be done by the whores… is that not, after all, the purpose of our existence?

Since his selection as Catalan pimpmeister supreme, new president Artur “Lord Farquaad” Mas, has spent his first 100 days slashing everything that moves in the name of austerity. Despite holding back on thousands of millions of euros of money paid by and owed to Catalonia, it seems that Madrid wants more, and it wants it now. In a letter to the Catalan government, the central government Finance Minister bluntly states the cuts are insufficient and that Catalans are to be taxed more and returned less, because if the Catalan slaves don’t take it up the asset, someone in Madrid may actually have to do an honest day’s work.

There is trouble brewing in the provinces. Farquaad Mas is between a rock and a hard place: on one hand, the unending avarice of the kleptocrats; on the other six million Catalans whose patience is beginning to wear as thin as their income after taxes. If the central government doesn’t back down –which it cannot, lest it incurr in the wrath of the international financial gangbangers– Mas may be forced to put the Armageddon Device on the table: the separation of Catalonia from the Spanish state. This long-held aspiration of Catalan nationalism, held at bay by centuries of brute force and/or political connivance, is not really a top priority for many Catalans who are comfortable being Catalan and Spanish and European. Getting taken to the cleaners by the pimps in Madrid and Brussels under the crisis banner, however, is making the price of being Spanish and European look more costly than it’s worth. How many kleptocracies can a single territory maintain before the shithouse goes up in flames?

In the halls of pimphood in Madrid, the idea of Catalonia breaking away from the pyramid provokes sneers and involuntary tightening of the soft parts. The Holy Roman Unity of Spain cannot be broken, they say, and we have mass graves full of dead Catalans to prove it.

The chain gang’s calling on the sickles of our forefathers. We Catalan slaves have a clear cut proposal to slash unnecessary costs starting at the head and going deep into the flesh of the issue. No more Wild Turkey; it’s moonshine time in the March. That’s the sound of the sickle sharpening on the grind stone…

4 thoughts on “Spain’s Austerity Plan: The Catalan Chain Gang

  1. Democracy only works with small populations(fact that I picked up in grade school)
    Majority rule sucks(fact that I picked up on the internet)

  2. Perhaps that’s why Catalan’s enjoy silencing their own with Gossos [Plza Cataluna], with a para military police force. Perhaps instead of harping the strings of nationalism, sounds a bit authoritarian to me. Wasn’t Franco one as well?

    I think the slaves metaphor is a bit too much. If you look at various other European communities and financial hubs, it’s pretty much the same deal. Cataluna if I remember quite well was built as a higher hub through finance from all Spain [Olympics].

    The reason WHY cataluna wants independence has nothing to do with anything really historical. Other than internal diatribe there’s a lot more written that the region was never a country. Tell me where the kings are other than Andres Iniesta? The real reason, like the other corrupt political parties [CiU leaders, who are speaking from the pockets of La Caixa], you find it’s actually they wish more control, not less. If you disagree, well how many catalan parties spoke out against the police violence in Pza Cataluna? Indeed is there an investigation? Oh, and these are the people you wish to represent you? Oh, and the Police chief is corrupt. Oh.. and it was recently reported that catalan’s couldn’t understand corruption [I need to find the link again and post it]

    If you believe that Cataluna is going to survive telling all the foreign money coming in, oh… everyone HAS to speak this language then I think it’s very short-sighted. Foreign investment is keeping the economy afloat. If there’s overheads training all staff to speak one language not taught outside a few select countries [and not financial hubs, other than Andorra] then investment companies will look to maybe Zaragoza [not much to relocate people under contract] then they might well do.

    It’s not entirely negative. I would like to see a country grow up from principals. It needs a totally different political system. As a small country, like MonteCarlo, Andorra, it might succeed. Still, it needs a constitution otherwise my friend… you’re handing over the keys to an ugly beast. Sadly most Catalans playing the heart strings are doing it blindly. Lessons from history have not been learned.

  3. Pingback: Catalan Elections Part Deux: Independence or Bust « 99 Percent Space

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