Beware the Holey Roamin’ Catch-a-Licks, Easter Bunny

Crazy as it may sound, there appears to be some connection between the Easter Bunny and the Holey Roamin’ Catch-a-Lick (HRC) death sect, because they always seem to appear at the same time. Coincidence?

Here in Spain the kids get a week off school for Easter to play with the Bunny, preferably at the beach to welcome the warm Spring sun. Then the HRC crazies take the streets with their whips and their chains and it starts to rain and they dress like the KKK and do death sect things. Needless to say, this tends to be a real downer on the sunny bunny scene, which may be an unintended consequence, but probably isn’t.

bunny fckers in action

What they want, I don’t know. They seem to have issues to resolve; either that or they’re just deranged. Either way, they live up to their Catch-a-Lick name with grim determination, whipping themselves into bloody frenzies throughout the country, bearing crosses, thorns and gruesome effigies.

What I DO know is that Bunny thinks they’re just a bunch of bunny-fckers who have crashed his sunny Spring party and turned it into a ritual of evil and degradation. Then again, Bunny thinks Santa Claus is a just an old elf-f… um, anyways, Bunny tells it like he sees it, which is his perogative as a traditional festivity.

you do not fck with the Bunny

His main gripe is the children. Bunny has always had a special place in his bunny heart for the youngest humans, the little flowers in the thorny desert that bloom in Spring just like he does. He invented games and painted eggs and songs and circle dances all for them, so they could celebrate the way humans are meant to, with joy and laughter in communion with their mother planet and their father star.

Bunny doesn’t like what the Holey Roamin’ Catch-a-Licks do with the children, giving them tears instead of laughter, guilt instead of joy, perversion instead of love and darkness instead of light. Every flower that becomes a thorn is a personal affront to him and the forces he represents, to the point that, despite his peaceful nature, he would gladly give those HRCs a good lickin’ if they weren’t so busy doing it to themselves.

As an old-timer festivity, Bunny has seen crazies come and go since the dawn of time, trying to get in on his action and turn it into something else. Long after the last lick has been caught, he’ll still be here. There’s always someone ready to believe, and maybe someday even remember. Happy Easter, grumpy Bun.

One thought on “Beware the Holey Roamin’ Catch-a-Licks, Easter Bunny

  1. Pingback: Mother Nature Has Last Word on World Yute Day « 99 Percent Space

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