Occupy Yuletide Chris Muss Carol Rants

HARK ALL YE MUSICIANS SING!! Mike Rivero at What Really Happened has offered to use Occupy Yuletide Carol Rants as bumper music in his radio show. So knock back the eggnog and give occupy yuletide your full backing… vocals!

Includes such classic family favorites as I’m Dreaming of a Fat Bailout, We Three Kings Bomb Orient Hard, Oh Come All Ye Macers, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (and May He Do It Soon) and Lewd King Bankster Boss.

Ah, Chris Muss carols… who can resist the music of Yuletide inviting us for a stroll down memory lane, back to a time when the world was full of magic and fat guys squeezing down the chimney at night.

But let’s face it, Chris just ain’t what it used to be. The season’s classic carols are just crying out for reality check and update to tell our story, not his story. Occupy Yuletide are Carol Rants for troubled times, tinged with the hope that springs eternal and dedicated to the 99 percenters at the front lines and the fed-up millions behind them.

So get ready to sing the classics like never before, and have yourself a sweary giggle Chris Muss… but watch out for fat guys coming down the chimney!


I’m Dreaming of a Fat Bailout

I’m dreaming of a fat bailout,
just like the ones I used to know,
where the millions just pour in from congress a-whorin’
and my bonus is long on zeroes.

I’m dreaming of a fat bailout,
where you pay dearly for my greed,
cause the millions I’m savin’ in a far-off tax haven,
are still only half what I need.

I’m dreaming of a fat bailout,
just like the ones of Christmas past,
where the bonuses glisten and the children can’t listen
cause I’ve sold out their future for cash.


We Three Kings Bomb Orient Hard

We three kings bomb Orient hard,
send in the gunships, the tanks and the guard,
oil-rich fountains, moors in the mountains,
we lay waste on them close and far.

Oh, bomb of plunder, bomb of might
bomb of blinding impact bright,
Eastward seeking, coldly reaping,
keep us from thy line of sight.

Born a war in Orient’s far land,
holder of treasures we kings want at hand,
we bomb and we kill, we scavenge at will,
for riches buried in the sand.

Oh, bomb of plunder, bomb of might
bomb of grim destruction site,
downwards falling, darkness calling
Keep us from thy perfect night.


Oh Come All Ye Macers

Oh come all ye macers,
riot gear cross dressers,
oh come ye to corral up the people of this land.

Come and arrest them,
beat ’em down and mace ’em good,

oh don’t forget the tear gas
oh don’t forget the wrist straps
oh don’t forget the rubber bullets,

Serve and protect!


God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (and May He Do It Soon)

God rest ye merry gentlemen, and may He do it soon,
For time is running short on ye and thy debt bubble gloom.
We’re asking God to take ye back for you’re His creatures too,
Oh tidings of austerity and doom
Oh tidings of austerity and doom

God rest ye merry gentlemen, for we’re the ones dismayed,
the riches ye have stolen, the destruction ye have laid.
We’ve paid for it in sweat and blood and now it’s gone away,
Oh tidings of downsizing and no pay
Oh tidings of our money gone astray

The Mother Mary, babe in arms, sleeps in the street tonight,
evicted from her property one cold and cruel night.
A cardboard box for manger in an alley out of sight,
Oh tidings of thy evil power and might
Oh tidings we must stand up and unite

But dawn will come ye gentlemen, and then to thy dismay,
thy merriness will turn to dust as we rise to seize the day
that hope is born unto the Earth and darkness cast away.
Oh tidings of thy rest coming this way
Oh tidings of a merry end that day.


Lewd King Bankster Boss

Lewd king bankster boss looked out,
from his penthouse palace,
saw the protests all about
and lewdly stroked his phallus malice.

“What brings these peasants to my door? They seem to be revolting,
perhaps if I release the hounds they will think twice and start bolting”

Lewd king bankster boss went out,
in his carriage rolling,
saw the protest standing fast,
amidst the tear gas blowing.

“Confound these peasants, I doth say, for indeed their resistance
bodes poorly for my reign of debt and funny money bank system”

Lewd king bankster boss felt fright,
on his feet uneven,
as marshals did handcuff him tight,
for crimes of theft and treason.

“Where are my lawyers and my guards? What is this search so callous?
I fear they have deserted me for being a lewd malice”.


text & art copylite 99percentspace 2011. Use freely with link to original post http://wp.me/pRMcb-kd. Please link to any public use in comments below. Occupy Yuletide!

4 thoughts on “Occupy Yuletide Chris Muss Carol Rants

  1. Pingback: Occupy Yuletide: The 12 Days of Crisis « 99 Percent Space

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