Short the Pork Before the Pork Shorts You

Caveat lector: For entertainment purposes only. 99PS does not endorse shorting, shafting, naked selling, asset munching or any other kind of financial perversion with negative karma yields.

The criminal bankster cabal is betting hard on pork futures right now. They are spending the chump change of their hard-stole money to place a solid wall of pork between them and reality.

Pork futures are a fall-back position for the banksters when things start getting rowdy. The cabal recently spent over $4M to take possession of their pork in NYC alone, a pattern which is driving up the prices of the porcine commodity everywhere.

The effects of this bubble are already being felt at the street level, as pork futures become an exclusive asset beyond the means of the common man. Having cornered the market, the bankster cabal is confident that its position is unassailable.

That is, until the first pork future gets short. Shorting is common practice in bankster circles, and can be used to break their grip on the market and put the pork where it belongs. So short the pork before it shorts you! The reasons are legion, here are but a few:

– Pork does it to you without batting an eyelid

– It’s the only language pork understands

– Pork thinks it is more equal

– Adulterated pork contains toxic corporate additives

– Ham is best cold

– Bacon is best smoked

– Pork is just begging for it

– Pork will not only bite the hand that feeds it; it will eat entire body

It’s time to put this farm back in order, so get your brokers on the mojo wire and send the order. Hold the turkey; this year’s Thanksgiving it’s gonna be the other white meat.

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