Roamin’ Catchalicks on the Move: D.C. or Bust

Papone on the roam! The vatican’t buzzard has been sighted in Mexico, maybe hoping to get sloppy seconds on a piece of territorial asset already raped by his predecessors 500 years ago. But the adoration of the droolers was not drooly enough to hide the pesky pederasty victims –a bunch of naughty, naughty little assets– that as angry adults are no longer half as cute as they seemed back when.

Since 1941, Mexico was home to the nasty dirty “secret” of a nasty dirty man –better said, a priest– who founded a kiddie-diddling sect called the Legionnaires of Christ and proclaimed himself head kiddie diddler. And for the following decades right up to 2006, diligently diddle did he, with the seminarists lined up to witness the miracle of the divine rod. In a sane society, a man like this would be castrated and locked away to rot. In the roamin’ church, however, such behavior is so standard that no-one bats an eyelid… except maybe the seminarists, at least the first time.

Indeed, according to the book presented by one of the victims, which contains 200 documented cases of child molestation and pederasty committed by this douche, it appears that by 1998 the holey see of Roam had more than enough hard evidence of these abuses but it was ignored by the same dude who is now papone and back then was the guy in charge of ignoring such cases. Reason? El Mexicano was butt buddies with the former papone, plus his sect had the protection of powerful politicos who were also devout kiddie-diddlers. Now ain’t that special?

It’s getting so that the papone can’t perch most anywhere anymore without getting waylaid by whiny victims of pecaminous acts by his perverted clergy. Astute observers may notice a critical mass growing… although this may be little more than wishful thinking, seeing as the catchalick memeplex will rather destroy its host than allow itself to be deactivated. In fact, any meme that can make its host abuse children in the name of a higher being has already destroyed its host and left nothing but a teeming shell of malignant memecode.

Which leads us to the papone’s stateside boy… you did know one of the GOP contenders is a roamin’ catchalick front man, right? No, not Dr. Paul, nor the mormonoid… that’s right, Rickster ‘The Saint’ Santorum, whose last name sounds taken straight out of mass in Latin. Spanish newspaper El País had an interesting article on the subject of the Rickster’s close, almost indecently intimate relation with the God’s Work sect, aka the catchalick mafia’s mafia, a virulent strain of old-school Spanish national-catchalickism that has found a fertile breeding ground in the USofA, notably in the Air Force and among Washington DC’s hardcore evangelical players.

Now, many of you will remember the over-the-top albino Silas from the Da Vinci Code, the God’s Work psychokiller memebot. Pretty scary mofo, huh? Well, the sect he supposedly represents is much, much scarier than the Da Vinci parody, and then some. God’s Work does not support evil, it IS evil, reeking of hypocritical self-righteous piousness. Their doctrine in a mfcking nutshell is that god has ordered them to convert the rest of us by steel and fire. Forget the conquistadors, the inquisitors, the fachas and the other psychopaths Made in Spain, they were dilettants compared to the Work. If the conquistadores were the Sword of Roam, God’s Work aspires to be its Ultimate Weapon, its Doomsday Device, in a word: Armageddon.

Friends, Roman-law slaves, countrymen, hear me out. One thing are corporate bitch presidents like Obomba, another thing are evangelical nutwings like the Rickster. These guys take crazy to a whole new level: self-flagellating corporate bitches who hear voices in their head. The discreet lobby of evil in D.C. has already managed to ignite the new Crusade –yes, that is what it is and always was– and finish off the expulsion of the Moors, no longer from the Iberian Peninsula, but from the face of the Earth. God’s Work? Sure, if your god hails from somewhere quite far from heaven where “work” means “killing people”.

Even a system as inherently flawed as democrazy, which is but emergency war powers with a dab of vaseline, must draw a line on just how batshit crazy a candidate to the top office can be. Because if you think democrazy is bad, theocrazy will make you want to claw through a brick wall with your naked fingerbones.

Capturing the oval office is not just another power-play by the mother church of roam; it is a last-ditch all-out attempt to stay the sword of Justice hanging over their collective head. For the papone and his cohorts know full well that unless they can take D.C., nuke the shit out of everyone and escape in the confusion, there’s gonna be hell to pay.

They better pray fast. The warrant to execute the sentence has been sealed, and the grindstone is turning…

… let’s go inside.



Frothy Rickster art

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