Duke of Palma Case Puts Bourbons on the Rocks

Yes, you’ve read all about it here at 99PS already, the story of Iñaki Urdangarin (which is Basque for “boy who steals cookie and blames little sister”), a dude who was a pro handball player and got it on with the kingospain’s younger, less repellant daughter Cristina to make of her an honest Bourbon breeding machine, minus the honest part.

In exchange, he got to be the Duke of Palma, a title which requires the bearer to get his palm-agreased with favors befitting the rank.

In the mfcking shell of a mfcking nut –and all alleged until the judge says otherwise– homeboy got into the lucrative business of sport consultancy, but instead of actually consulting he dedicated his time to funneling the money with fake invoices through an opaque network of companies in tax havens to conceal the fact that he had not, in fact, done the consulting. Did I mention the money was public funding paid by the regional government of the Balearic Islands (the Ducate of Palma refers to the capital city of Mallorca) even though they knew full well the invoiced services had never been provided?

Now, I know beggars can’t be choosers, so it’s hardly fair to expect a Bourbon consort to include grey matter among his attributes, but even then the question remains: why bother? All he had to do was go shake some hands, have some grunts copypaste a report or two from the net and it would not only have been a whole lot easier but legal to boot. Unethical, yes, but not beyond standard modus operandi at such levels.

I wager he caught the stricto allergy to doing an honest day’s work. They know full well it is what sets them above the serfs, so it’s a question of principle… even if they have to lie and steal to accomplish it. But not all newly titled commoners possess the bloodline skills required to cruise the stricto fast lane without hitting judicial potholes.

So anyways, the Duke got grilled by the magistrate in Palma de Mallorca for 21 hours as a first step to decide whether to proceed or not with the case against him. The news filtered from the courtroom said the Duke had the game play well rehearsed: recall nothing and, when confronted with evidence, blame his ex-business partner with whom he fell out in 2007.

The same sources said that the magistrate got so tired of his evasiveness that he made a veiled threat to call on the Duke’s wife and ask her as co-proprietor of several of the companies. The implications of this bit of news surely brought some loose bowels upon the porcelain at the palace of Zarzuela… put one Bourbon on the rocks for this nasty smelly poopoo business and suddenly folks might start wondering about daddy-o’s warning to the Duke to clean up his act back in 2006. Cause if kingospain knew back then and didn’t do nothing, that might make him a… no, must n o t w r i t e i t . . . a loveable old geezer and an all-around swell guy. Whew, that was close!

make it a double!

The disgraced duke is the weak link of the chain, and a shining example of why commoners should not be consorted with, much less brought into the clique. Behind the lavish celebrity of strictocracy, which is the part droolers like to drool on, there is a big fat business model which has been expoliating this land –and many others– since the times of Al-Andalus. Stricto economics work along the same lines as bankster economics: upward wealth transfer to the unproductive economy by means of debt, tithe and indentured serf labor. The extensive coverage of the Duke of Palma’s funny bizniss is making a lot of drool dry up as folks finally wake up to the fact that these fat cats are lapping the cream off the communal milk bowl and pooping in the flower bed to boot.

In my previous post on this issue, I mention that kingospain had stood squarely behind democrazy during the 1981 attempted coup, which is the narrative that’s been sold ever since that day. Not long after writing that post, a magazine published an interview with a retired German diplomat who says the kingospain expressed sympathy for the conspirators, implying that his support of democrazy may not have been quite as square as advertised. True or not, it doesn’t change the fact the new king, when faced with this dilemma, chose to gamble on democrazy instead of succumbing to the temptation of going back to the old, tired ways… breaking with the old Spanish saying mejor malo conocido que bueno por conocer. Most likely someone must have convinced him that if he chose to support the coup, neither regime nor crown would survive the turbulent transition period.

Honestly, as little as I care for the Crown, I feel kinda bad for the current bearer. He’s old and tired and surely all the royal cushiness doesn’t do much to alleviate his failing health and heavy burdens. Being king in a democrazy has its benefits but also its drawbacks; for the past 3 decades he’s lived large on the former, and now he’s getting a taste of the latter. Heir prince Felipe, exquisitely groomed, duly wed & procreated, awaits solid as a stool* for the time of succession to occur, but the rocks are slippery and the monarchists have no desire to see ol’ kingospain slip in midst of the current economic and social uncertainty. Democrazy is a fickle mistress… one day she covers for your strictocrat asset, next day she votes you into exile and sends you packing to Portugal. Hey, it’s happened before!

The purpose of the crown in modern Spanish democrazy is not just economic livestock management, but to keep the livestock from killing each other in another civil war. The current kingospain performed his duty on that fateful day in 1981 by not allowing the murderous regime to rise from the dead, but the issue still festers and the spectre of strife has never entirely disappeared. History teaches us that the last time a kingospain was forced to abdicate, the stricto-catchalick-drooler triumvirate preferred to destroy the country in fraticidal war rather than let the Republic bloom. And they didn’t restore the monarchy until 40 years later, during which the regime did its futile best to rid this land of reds once and for all. Only when Frank-oh the limp dick tater finally understood that his regime would not survive him did he put the king back in place, mostly to prevent the imaginary red hordes from rising up and exacting their revenge upon his departure.

The abstraction called Spain is a broken asset patched together with red tape, hot lead and cheap bourbon for too long. No more quick fixes. It is time to remove the base from this pyramid and let the top come crashing down. That’s how his story ends, and ours begins.

*not the sitting kind


Karmic update! King’s eldest grandson shoots self in foot

Not intended as a cheap laugh at a wounded child’s expense, but simply to remark on the rather direct allegorical interpretation of this fortunate incident. I say fortunate because there have been other incidents involving Bourbons and firearms that ended much worse, namely when the current king accidentally killed his brother while cleaning a rifle given by Frank-oh to the king’s uncrowned daddy, Don Juan of Bourbon. Talk about poison gifts! But then again, Frank-oh was a military man and could not suspect anyone to be dumb enough to clean a loaded weapon in the first place.

This kind of bad mojo is Universe sending word to the wise. The irresponsable use of privilege is indeed a way of shooting themselves in the foot as far as public opinion is concerned. In this case, 13-year old grandson is legally too young to be using even bb guns, much less small calibre firearms, and even then would require special permit. Then there’s the fact that the local hospital where he was first treated did not fulfil its legal obligation to inform of gunshot wounds to the police, especially when there’s a minor involved. Just another straw on the camel’s back of petty abuse of status that reflects their true “us & them” worldview.

And for the love of Bob stop putting firearms in the hands of Bourbon children! Don’t you get it already?

One thought on “Duke of Palma Case Puts Bourbons on the Rocks

  1. Pingback: Noos Strangles Bourbon Turkeynecks | 99 Percent Space

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