Memo to Adelson re: Eurovegas

CC: the Vegas Sands crew

The moment of truth is upon us, with your final decision on the location of Eurovegas only weeks away. Seems like the right time to offer some free advice. I tried to find some suave diplomatic way of telling you to take your wretched casino project and shove it where the sun don’t shine, but it was too much effort. I figure you pay enough lickspittles to sugarcoat it for you, so I’ll give it to you straight.

allow me to show you my chips…

The bottom line is that you are not welcome in, around or anywhere close to Barcelona. Yes, I saw your henchmen here getting their knobs polished by the local authorities on their way to Madrid, but you’d be wise not to confuse the greasy palm politicos with the citizens they don’t represent. Did they mention how many riot cops were mobilized to keep the protestors at bay during their visit? Even had a copter and everything.

The overwhelming rejection of the Eurovegas project has mobilized the citizenry into several anti-EV associations in the larger Barcelona area, with many political and social entities speaking out against it, including ex-president González (who calls it a “whorehouse”) and even the Abbot of Montserrat. And this is but the tip of the iceberg awaiting your titanic project should it dare venture into Catalan waters.

So if you finally decide to go through with the Barcelona option, I suggest you beef up the contingency budget by 500%… to start. This ain’t no fcking desert, and we’ve fought and prevailed against larger parasites than yourself, sir. We live in a beautiful city that welcomes 7.7 million visitors a year with open arms; we don’t need your casino nor the scum it brings with it.

We know full well you are under investigation in the US for being a crooked sleazebag, which may explain why corrupt government officials like your project so much. However, if you think having the support of the current government is somehow going to protect you or your investment, just wait. Your crew will be doing the Hanoi goodbye or going down for money laundering, tax evasion & general sleaziness as soon as elections roll around. Heck, we don’t even need to wait for elections, we’ll sic Garzón on your sorry assets… he knows just how to deal with your ilk.

That said, if I were a gambling man I’d bet you made your choice way before putting the Barcelona option on the table. I bet Madrid was always the first choice, and that you brought us in to squeeze some more concessions from them. So now you got Madrid on its knees promising to suckee-fckee long time, just like Macau. Amazing how many pants drop not at the sight of cash, but at the mere promise of it… by a casino mogul, no less. Indeed a sucker is born every second, and evidently most of them end up in governmental decision-making positions.

So if you insist on building Eurovegas in the Peninsula, Madrid is definitely your place: the imaginary centre of a mythical wheel spanning a make-believe country, the seat of the non-existent Spanish Empire. The perfect site for your monument to all that is false & garish, home to many of the scaly persuasion and always agreeable to glitzy money-laundering operations. You’d feel right at home there, maybe you visit sometime. When do you think you’ll become eligible for parole? 2030? See ya then, viejo cabrón.

One thought on “Memo to Adelson re: Eurovegas

  1. Pingback: Fear & Loathing in EuroVegas « 99 Percent Space

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