Nursery Rhymes for Modern Times

First, the Meta Nursery Rhyme

Nursery rhymes came before Dr Seuss
nonsense sing-songs from our dear Mother Goose,
Jack and Jill, Old Mother Hubbard,
Little Miss Muffet, a shoe and a cupboard.

These little ditties a small secret hold,
a meaning that’s hidden in every one told,
of political satire enjoyed by the masses
to laugh at the king without risking their assets.

It may seem hard to believe, but there was a time
when critics were punished with tortures sublime
for daring to question the force of authority
and spreading the word among the majority.

It was thus that the jesters stepped up to the plate
composing these ditties so easy to state
speaking of leaders who everyone knew
with names they invented right out of the blue.

Much time did pass and the words lost their meaning,
but the rhymes still remain, their spirit still gleaming
for the children to cherish in dance and in song
a world that was magic before it went wrong.

(If on this subject you seek more knowledge,
Peek right here or go back to college!)

modern_goose

The Rhymes, in no particular order:

Hickory Dickory Dock

Hickory dickory dock

The Fed ran out of stock

The press went on

The notes poured down

Hickory dickory dock

Peter Peter Elected Leader
Peter Peter elected leader,

Had a vote and couldn’t keep her!

He put her in a rigged election,

And there he kept her from inspection!

Jack Sprat
Jack Sprat could find no job

His wife had just missed rent

And so betwixt the two of them

They now live in a tent

Georgie Porgie
Georgie Porgie drone in the sky,

Bomb the girls and make them cry

When the boys do join the fray,

Double tap and fly away

Remember Remember
Remember remember the month of September

Airplanes, treason and plot.

I see no reason why crimes of treason

Should ever be forgot…

Hey Diddle Diddle
Hey diddle diddle, Big Bro in the middle,
Spying on us every day.
Hiding away from public disclosure
And the dish told the spoon it was gay

Little Miss Muffet
Little Miss Muffet sat at the buffet 

Eating Chinese take-away

Along came a spider, who sat down beside her

And said “you looking for a student loan?”

Three False Flags
Three false flags, three false flags,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran away from the incident stage,
Except for the patsy who stayed to engage,
Did you ever check what’s inside of your bags
in three false flags?

Old Prepper Hubbard
Old prepper Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To count her sealed MREs,
When she got there
The cupboard was bare
And agents did lurk in the trees

Jack Be Simple
Jack be simple
Jack be sick
Jack take pills
make his heart tick

Hush a Bye Baby
Hush a bye baby, on the front line,
When the smoke blows your eyes will be blind,
When the shots sound the bodies will fall,
And on will push baby, for once and for all.

Baa Baa Black Sheep
Baa baa black sheep, have you left the herd?

Yes sir, yes sir, flown like a bird!

Gone from the master, gone from the dame,
Free is the mind when there’s nothing to chain

And to End on a More Upbeat Note, a Witty Limerick

There was a fat banxter from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
He put on a noose
and let himself loose
and swung by his neck from the ceiling

.

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